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H-Beam Featured in the Deli Magazine

You heard right folks. H-Beam was recently interviewed by Wesley Hodges of The Deli Magazine for a feature article which was prompted by their acclaimed “JANE” set at Vanderbilt’s Rites of Spring Music Fest.

Click here for the interview on thedelimagazine.com

Thanks Wesley and the Deli Magazine for doing what the Scene or the Rage hasn’t done yet.

WHO'S KILLING THE LOVE PANDA!

PROLOGUE

The Love Panda was already late. Ten o’clock in the evening and it still couldn’t figure out what to wear, eat, or smell like for it’s night out on the Franklin kinda town. LP’s vibrating cellphone was possibly causing more of the delay as it was nestled in a nice place, deep in a pocket; all of the LP’s buddies and buddettes were already down at The Pond gettin’ crazy with Nashville’s own Boom Ticket. The whole city was in heated anticipation over the psychedelic rock band H-Beam to follow who had not performed in the greater Nashville area since their performance of the acclaimed rock-opera “JANE” at the Rites of Spring. The H-Beam set started at eleven and it was currently 10:40. The Love Panda hustled.

Quickly slipping out the back door with a hand full of wet pasta which slopped all over the perfect shoes the LP had slapped on, it revved the engine of it’s VW bug and looked up to the Tennesee sky. Stars had become clouds. “Looks like it’s going to be a wet one,” the Love Panda giggled. The excitement began to grow as the perspiring panda raced towards the Pond in Franklin, passing through the lovely downtown district, just to loop around the fun round-about once or twice to look at all the beautiful people. The third time around, the LP was taken by quite a sight. Strewn about the Mellow Mushroom outdoor patio was an all out dry-hump-free-love session organized by the rowdy yet fashionably-in Target/PacSun suedo-hippies that frequent the greater Franklin area on Thursday nights. The LP, being a connoisseur of the impromptu love jump, had to juggle between the mayhem ensuing atop the Kosmic Karmas and Jerk Chicken Pizzas, or the highly anticipated H-Beam show he was already late for. In a rare act of self control, the Panda sped off towards the Pond.

Driving in the rain, the LP was feeling anxious over all of the wet bodies he could still envision at the mushroom. The car was getting hotter. It rolled down the window to it’s hip VW Bug with those cute magnetic decals of peace signs, flowers, and a bummble bee. Now the LP was getting wet. It could see the street sign for Hillsboro Road where the club was located. The LP got antsy. Doing what a Love Panda inherently does best, it began caressing and relieving itself of the nasty thoughts that came from the Mushroom fiasco with a vigorous fervor that rivaled any of the LP’s previous expulsions. The Pond was in sight. The Panda’s Bug swerving side to side made it’s way into the parking lot and found double parked stopping space that the LP found quite spacious. It was still going at it. The LP just couldn’t shake the feelings of intense pleasure. It had to get out of the car. From the parking lot, the sound of H-Beam’s song “Girls Gone Wild” could be heard which only spurred the Panda’s self-loving marathon. Hobbling to the door, the Panda began to feel light-headed, but was in a great mood. Stars began to come out, the milky way looking down, The Love Panda was in love.

Against the building, shadows appeared all around the LP as it drew nearer to the entrance. All of a sudden, the Love Panda was sent to the ground lifeless. A young patron of the bar stepping out to use her new iPhone, stumbled upon the puffy panda body and let out a horrifying scream. “SOMEONE HAS KILLED THE LOVE PANDA!”

JANE gets an Encore!

Well folks, we couldn’t have asked for a better event last Saturday on Vanderbilt’s Alumni Lawn. Lots of familiar faces mingled in with a ton of new ones, not a drop rain during the H-Beam set, the sound was fantastic, and the entire cast of our JANE production was on point. The best part of it all was how well received the lesbian-themed rock opera was to the Vandy crowd. Due to an already hectic schedule for the day however, H-Beam wasn’t able to squeeze in the full 30 minute rock opera as planned (as a side note, Matt would like to publicly apologize to anyone on Great Big Shows staff, the Rites crew, or any affiliated party for throwing a tantrum over getting pulled early. His diaper has been changed and is truly embarrassed about bitching over a couple minutes of stage time. We love Rites of Spring).

Since we didn’t get to present the climax of JANE, and we know that’s the most important part, H-Beam will be presenting the original FULL EXTENDED version of the rock opera at Nashville’s EXIT/IN Saturday, May 24th with our buddies The Running on the co-bill. Tickets will be far more affordable than the 2 day Rites passes, so all of the poor poor H-Beam fans out there can enjoy the lesbianish glory. It’s gonna be sticky.

We here at H-Beam Pruhductions are thrilled about the recent hype and press over the eccentric and elaborate shows we have been planning for everybody. The fans are making it possible and exciting for us to put on such shows and we can’t wait for the insanity to come. There’s an album in the works and we’ve got the video from the past year in the editing booth as we speak. To all the Beamers out there, we got you covered This is a great year for the H-Beam world. Glad you’re all a part of it.

Thank you Vandy. Thank you Rites. Thank you fans. Thank you lesbians. See you March 24th.

Rites of Spring Press and Pics



H-Beam at Vanderbilt’s Rites of Spring
Avery Spofford, Versus Entertainment

H-Beam’s performance at Rites of Spring was not for the faint of heart … or the sober. The psychedelic rockers opened up Alumni Lawn on Saturday to a whole new world where giant panda suits, frog masks and homosexual rock opera reigned supreme.

The band performed a rock opera titled “Jane,” which details a Nashville coed’s quest for self-understanding. The story journeys through a Nashville bar (which H-Beam hinted at being Vanderbilt favorite Fuel), to Cancun, Mexico, and back again, eventually leading Jane to discover and embrace her sexuality as a lesbian.

Characters featured in the opera included Jane’s father (Admiral Doc Hop-a-long, a bass saxophonist crowned with a giant frog mask) and “The Love Panda,” a mascot-sized panda dressed up in a Lil Jon costume complete with bling and dreadlocks.

Vanderbilt Music Group member Lauren Richman said she felt that H-Beam’s performance was “new for the Vanderbilt crowd but well-received.” Festival attendees enjoyed the opera, laughing along with the humor of the Love Panda while sympathizing with Jane’s struggle with her sexual identity. If onstage theatrics and an epic throwback to the psychedelia and experimentation of the 1960s are your style, check out H-Beam’s MySpace at www.myspace.com/hbeamlive

Here you are your honor, the evidence...

Andy A’s big B-Day Extravaganza. The only Love Panda to date who gave us an Oscar-winning performance in “Death of a Love Panda.” The night was full of ROCK and ROLL people. Crazy energy at this one. Mr. Ron Mac Daddy himself documented on his memory suspender retaining device. Very high tech people. Check it out:

NAKED LADIES DOT COM

That’s right folks, you are about to tune into the shneebly mind of the moustache-toting internet smut-meddling ever-day average son-of-a-man. Gotta love that internet folks. Here’s H-Beam’s tribute. Fitting to be filmed on Moustache Friday!


Here be the lyrics:
HE CREEPS AROUND ON A BIG OL WEB
HE LOVES EM ALL INSIDE HIS HEAD
DOESN’T TAKE EM OUT TO A MOVIE OR TAKE EM OUT TO EAT
HE PAYS 19.95 ONCE ANNUALLY

HE GETS EVERY LOVER
HE DOWNLOADS OF A SERVER
IT’S W W W DOT
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
NAKED LADIES DOT COM

WHATEVER HE WANTS IS IN HIS HANDS
ONE A JENNA JAMESON’S BIGGEST FAN’S
BE IT MILF BARELEY LEGAL OR BIGBOOTYHO
CUMS AND GOES WHEN HE PLEASES CUZ THEY
NEVER SAY NO

HE GETS EVERY LOVER
HE DOWNLOADS OF A SERVER
IT’S W W W DOT
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
NAKED LADIES DOT COM

Setlist at J.J.’s Bohemia 03/28/08 : MOUSTACHE FRIDAY

My moustache was so pumped for this event, he was talking about it all week. I got him all trimmed and combed up real fancy-like. Had on quite the shneebly attire to compliment him. We we’re ready for MOUSTACHE FRIDAY!

Thank you to out new friends at J.J.’s (who are tré cool by the way), the Nim Nims (kicked total rock and roll ass), our old buddies Up With The Joneses (TJ is my wingman), and all of the wonderful familiar faces that made the whole event pretty dawg garn special. We can’t wait to make our way back down to JJ’s for round two; we know it’s gonna be a wet one. I would have to say that J.J.’s Bohemia has ranked somewhere in H-Beam’s top 5 favorite places to play. Super cool vibe and pretty awesome sound. Thanks John and Jenny (sp. Hope to see you soon!

Viva el bigoté

Soundcheck (Special Moustache Friday Edition): JANE & JANE BANG

THE TASTY PLIGHT OF PORTILLO THE HOT DOG
TANK
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
BANANA *
CUMBERLAND HOP
MONEY 4 NOTHIN !
THRIFTY BITCH
ROLLERDERBY
GGW
CAN CAN’T
MT. CHANGE

  • moustache edition
    ! Dire Straits cover