Time Traveler

I want to go into the past and meet an overworked American settler’s wife who is diligently churning butter. Hold up a bottle of “I can’t believe it’s not butter” The spray on version, yell “I’M FROM THE FUTURE! Na, na na, na na, na. Then drop it and disappear.

I want to go even further back into the Garden of Eden. Bitchsmack the serpent while he’s putting the moves on eve and then legally change my name to adam. Now who’s ya daddy?

I want to travel to the first second after the end of time and bring everybody who ever lived with me.

I want to go to 1 AD and forgive Judas. Nothing is done without God’s graces.

I want to travel to an age that has solved some of today’s woes and bring back just one single solution.

I’d like to go to the day Microsoft went public, grab Bill Gates and bring him to meet Jesus, Muhammad & Buddha in the flesh. Then take him right back when he came from.

I’d like to retrieve a time magazine from 100 years ahead featuring the millenniums biggest mistakes and drop it on JFK’s desk along with the keys to a bulletproof limo.

I want to go to pre European Africa with a full collection of the encyclopedia Britannica circa 2009 and teach all blacks to read before the slavers ever get there.

I’d like to snatch the Pope up on his dying day and take him to meet Mother Mary so she can tell him personally who reigns in heaven.

I’d like to go back to 1970 when I was a boy and take me to play with Jesus when he was a boy.

I’d like to find young Buddha under his tree and smoke a blunt of indo with him.

I want to go back to the first time I saw my wife’s face. Over and over and over.

I want to go back and become a drinking buddy of the grandfather I never knew Then go forward and help plan the wedding of the great grandson I haven’t had yet