Sometimes it feels a little strange that I’ve performed my songs in front of hundreds of people, given how intimate and personal they are. I started singing when I was 8 years old and there’s a ton of details I could give you about how it all happened. I could go in depth about the meaning of my songs and my style – but really, you can just take a listen to get that. So instead, I’d like to tell the story of how I was “thrown to the wolves” on my first performance as a singer/songwriter 14 years ago. I think it will actually give you more insight.

I had just written my first few songs when I also got my first true fan – Ric “Skippy” Major. We were both working at a popular nightclub at which he was the house sound engineer. Performing that night was a national touring act from Germany called Fury in the Slaughterhouse. Ric mentioned to the lead singer that I was a singer/songwriter and he responded “Well, she should open for us tonight!” Ric came and told me I would be opening that night about an hour before show time! Not that more time would have made me any more prepared.

I had been working that day as a stagehand, filling the band’s contract requirements, taking them to K Mart to buy underwear (literally, as they’d been living on a tour bus for weeks) and helping them fax ten page letters to their loved ones back home in Germany.

I was a mess – wearing a borrowed men’s XL Madonna T-shirt that had the arms and collar ripped out of it, exposing my black bra. It was more like a dress on my small 100 pound body than a shirt. Very “rocker” like, I must say, but at the time I was very shy about that kind of thing and mortified that I was going on stage dressed like that. (Madonna would have been proud!)

I got up on stage with the first guitar I ever owned – a 12-string Framus that I had taught myself how to play on and that never stayed in tune. If I remember correctly, it is a German guitar – funny coincidence. All I remember about the actual performance was that I was shaking when I walked up to the microphone. Although I had performed many times as a kid, I had never played and sang my own songs, all alone, on a big stage, in a 1500 seat night club.

How did I do? Well…I think it pretty much sucked! The guitar was terribly out of tune after the first song, and I was so nervous I couldn’t get it back in tune. Since I was shaking so bad, I’m sure I sounded very small and weak – not at all the strong voice to which my fans are now accustomed.

BUT, I did it and I survived! Later, the lead singer of that seven piece German band told the audience that he was so impressed at how I got up there all by myself and that he could never do that. I doubt what he said was really true – I think he just didn’t have anything else nice to say about my performance – but the whole experience really stuck with me. His words gave me the courage to do it again, and it reinforced my desire to perform my songs regardless of my fright.

Since then, I’ve played hundreds of shows, some equally bad and some unbelievably great. I’ve played with many different musicians, gone through about five band member changes, released a handful of albums, struggled to keep my chin up through many hard times, and sometimes I still feel nervous.

But, I’ve gained a lot of fans and friends who are always supportive and encouraging and I still have my number one fan Ric, “throwing me to the wolves” every chance he can get. And I’m still lovin’ it.