Boatrocker

Boatrocker started in 2007 when Chris, Sean and John were driving in Chris' Navigator to D'Jais for a summer night of dancing, crooked hats and cat-calling. While on the road, John popped in a burn of the new Confide album with the amazing Postal Service cover on it -- at that point everyone in the car looked at each other kind of like how the brothers in The Boondock Saints did after they woke up and had water dripping on them. The only difference was that there was no water dripping from th...

Boatrocker started in 2007 when Chris, Sean and John were driving in Chris' Navigator to D'Jais for a summer night of dancing, crooked hats and cat-calling. While on the road, John popped in a burn of the new Confide album with the amazing Postal Service cover on it -- at that point everyone in the car looked at each other kind of like how the brothers in The Boondock Saints did after they woke up and had water dripping on them. The only difference was that there was no water dripping from the roof of the car (because it was a nice summer day and not raining and Navigators aren't convertibles). "We should do a band that does awesome music like this," Chris said, and everyone agreed. However, there was one problem -- no one in the band had ever played a musical instrument. They then had the idea to call their friend Will, who while also not playing any instruments, was really good at playing the bass in Rock Band on Xbox 360. "It's the same thing," Will said assuredly, and a few Coronas later it was decided that Boatrocker would form. An intense game of Rock Paper Scissors was played to decide who would play which instrument. Everyone wanted to play lead guitar and sing at the same time, but in the end it was Sean who won out the coveted spot when he threw down a Dynamite in the tie-breaking RPS round between him and John. Now that positions had been settled, all that was needed were instruments, so after a few Jager Bombs the group decided to ask their parents to buy them all the necessary equipment to be in a band. Their parents had no problem with this and bought them top-of-the-line instruments in every area, but said that they would not pay some poor plebeian to teach their children how to play music. "You'll have to teach yourselves how to play." "I don't really want to sit down and learn how to play these things" seemed to be the general complaint from all the members, so instead of honing any skills on instruments, the band booked studio time with Mike at Second Story Sound Studio in West Chester, PA. Soon after, they recorded their first songs with Mike; demanding he make it sound good no matter the cost (money was no object). In the summer of 2010, the band called a mandatory meeting over nachos and cave beer. It was decided that, while the demo slayed, it still only existed in the realm of mortals, and the band wanted a record that crossed through many dimensions. Different ideas were thrown around: super-string theory, Hilbert space, gettin' seriously churched YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, etc., but eventually it was decided that a demonic contractual obligation would be the easiest route and require the least amount of mathematical knowledge. The band met with many supernatural beings (Satan and Krampus, for example), but were consistently turned away under the pretense that they rocked way too hard and would rip through the very fabric of space and time if allowed to release a record in the demons' corresponding realms. Ready to settle on releasing another normal album, the band was approached by a represenative for the Gods of Trolling. A deal had been made, and the band signed a contract in boogers to record a new album -- the one condition of the troll gods being that the album must be engineered and mixed at Big Blue Meenie Recording Studios with Tim Gilles (one of their oldest clients). With that, Boatrocker traveled to the wastelands of central NJ and set out to record their first full length: Delicious Jams.