• Lana Del Jag.
• MIA stays political.
• Those are some “swift” sales. We couldn’t resist the pun.
• Dee’s not gonna take it.
• Anthony Bourdain’s always down for a good time.
• Better frame that note forever, Eric.

The Good

Kid in snuggie nails Beyoncé’s “Countdown” video

That’s one headline we never thought we’d type, but alas, it’s true. A young fan of Beyoncé took it upon himself to recreate the singer’s colorful and kinetic video for “Countdown.” And to make things even more interesting, he did it while wearing a snuggie. All hail the king of comfortable choreography, KKPalmer1000.

Coachella cruise to set sail in December

All hipsters aboard! Coachella is losing its land legs and heading off to the high seas with two music cruises this December. Passengers will be treated to sets by the likes of Girl Talk, Sleigh Bells, and James Murphy from LCD Soundsystem as they tour the Caribbean, sip on rum runners, and get seasick all over their Urban Outfitter threads. We’re totally there.

The Bad

R. Kelly’s releases video for “Feelin’ Single”

R. Kelly just released the video for “Feelin’ Single” from his quaintly titled new album, Write Me Back. And in true Kelly fashion, things get a little wack. After spending the first two verses moping over his hard-partying girlfriend who’s out in the club, Kelly breaks into a Chicago-style song and dance number, naturally. There’s no midget, no Bridget, and no Rosie the Nosy Neighbor from his “Trapped In The Closet” masterpiece, but you may still crack a smile.

Pitbull sent to Alaskan hinterland

The wiseacres at Something Awful who rallied to get Pitbull sent to Alaska have prevailed. Walmart announced that the rapper will perform at its most remote store in Kodiak. Pitbull is being a good sport about the whole thing, and even offered to bring the two men behind Something Awful—David Thorpe and Jon Hendren—with him on his big trip. Check out his response below.

The Ugly

Madonna to be sued for swastika reference

Who would have thought that equating a political leader to a Nazi wouldn’t end well? Not Madonna. The material girl got slapped with a lawsuit after she flashed a video image of right wing French leader Marine Le Pen with a swastika overlaid across her face. Le Pen’s party, Front National, has filed a suit against Madonna for public insult. Maybe hydrangeas should do the same?

Joanna Newsome spends seven minutes in “heaven”

Don’t get us wrong, we love this video of Joanna Newsome spending time in a closet with SNL writer Mike O’Brien for his web series “7 Minutes in Heaven.” We’re just a little freaked out by the duo’s evil clown impressions, the bowls of chili, and the keyboard-chicken debacle. Find out what we’re talking about by watching the video here.

Miscellany

• Kanye West and Kim Kardashian tackle Six Flags
• Green Day to include Amy Winehouse tribute on new album
• Justin Bieber gets beat up in teaser for “As Long As You Love Me”
• Pete Doherty kicked out of Thai rehab
• Shirley Manson threatened by Twitter stalker
• Jack White releases “Freedom at 21” video
• The Who announces “Quadrophenia” tour
• Ben Gibbard announces solo album
• Pomplamoose mashes Gotye and Carly Rae Jepsen
• Watch No Doubt’s “Settle Down”
• Lana Del Rey to be face of H&M
• Frank Ocean’s Channel Orange lands at No. 2 on Billboard
• Rihanna to launch fashion line
• Paris Jackson accuses uncle Randy of lying in will dispute

• First, pro wrestling. Now, Broadway? You are quite worldly for a man with a duckface, Billy Corgan.
• All hail the Queen of Facebookia.
• Coldplay fans, you might want to check for some hidden functions. You know, for the ladies.
• Who wouldn’t want a nude drawing by an 85 year old man? Best Christmas present ever.
• Judging by the trailer, we’re guessing they mean the term “pop” in the loosest manner possible.
• Russell Simmons sticking it to Lowe’s by not taking their money.
• Need to make an artist weep heavily while recording? Can’t go wrong with making them sing a little Bob Dylan.
• You’re welcome, Dave. You’re welcome.

• Clearly, the only reason Kayne didn’t get nominated is because his works are so awesome that they offset each other.
• Bono, if you want to stop sounding like a girl, you might want to take off those sunglasses.
• Can’t really blame him. Carl Barat does have a very punchable face.
• Nice to get the official odds for the office’s back-alley GRAMMY betting ring.
• When Will Smith’s daughter decides to step in, you know that it’s been too long since the last Will Smith album.
• Damon Albarn reveals himself to have been the Wizard of Gorillaz all along. Munchkins everywhere are shocked.
• Did Sleigh Bells turn into a metalcore band when we weren’t looking?
• Bieb’s just trying to show that teen heartthrobs gotta stick together. Undersized fist bump.

Vanity Theft

Vanity Theft is part of a pedigreed lineage of female rock bands. The Runaways, The Go-Gos, Sleater-Kinney—you know the sort. Girls who elbow their way through the male-driven rock paradigm and make a place for themselves in the boy’s club. If you like “Anatomy” (and you will like “Anatomy”), be sure to listen to the Houses Haunted Tape Remix. The track transforms the original into a mishmash of digital chirps, chopped-up chants and great stomping beats à la Sleigh Bells. Don’t worry, all the hooks of “Anatomy” are kept intact, clawing their way into your brain while jagged soundscapes add a sinister edge. “Limb From Limb,” with its lashes of electric guitar and synths is just as fierce. With vitriol dripping from each of singer Alicia Grodecki’s words, the band dares you not to dance. We can only say, you go grrrls.

“Anatomy” – Vanity Theft

After twenty hours, and what felt like a million miles, we finally made it to Great Stage Park for Bonnaroo. In the morning, we reminisced about the festival kick off, and analyzed the day’s lineup. From what we heard, J. Cole blew everyone’s mind, unfortunately we were over at The Other Tent posting up shop for Sleigh Bells. We weren’t the only ones—people continued to swarm in after The Drums finished. Sleigh Bells finally started half an hour late, but we were disappointed to be pounded with an overwhelming amount of bass, to the point where we couldn’t even make out Alexis Krauss’ voice. So, we gave ourselves a break and headed over to That Tent to catch The Walkmen finishing their set. It was a good decision, they rocked hard, and we appreciated it. We had to call it quits afterwards—preservation is key at Bonnaroo, sleep even more so, especially since Friday boasts such a fun lineup. We passed out to the sounds of Beats Antique, but not before pausing outside Centerroo to listen to the end of Sleigh Bells, who sounded fantastic once the fence was blocking the bass.

We started Friday off with an OurStage (and personal) favorite: Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. They were up against Matt & Kim, who we love (we just chatted with Matt on the phone, look out for the Q&A), but Grace provided hours of hippie dancing, and more importantly, great people watching. Wearing a lace caftan which she quickly whipped away to reveal a printed mini, Grace danced barefoot like an animal. Overheard: “I want to marry her.”

Next, we caught a bit of Atmosphere, who almost “called in sick.” “Hey Bonnaroo,” Slug said in his hypothetical phone call to the president of Bonnaroo, “I’m not gonna be able to make it into work today. I’m gonna be way too f-cking hungover.” When the crowd started booing, his response: “Don’t boo me, I’m here. I’m not booing you.”

Next we were off to catch Ray LaMontagne, who actually hates performing on stage and usually hides in the shadows of the stage, so we were excited to see him play at 6:15 PM when the sun was shining. He did his best though, standing way off to the right off the stage, less than 10 feet from the wing and facing across to the left, not daring make eye contact with the hundreds of fans singing along. After a heart-breakingly beautiful “Jolene,” an awkward “thank you, thank you very much,” and he was gone.

We headed back to basecamp to pound a burrito and rest up for Arcade Fire. But, as we walked out of Centerroo, we could hear Florence (and her machine) wailing “Dog Days Are Over” as fellow passerbys sang along.

Overall, there seems to be less heat this year (knock on wood) but more people. Rumor has it over 100,000 tickets were sold, and general admission sold out a few weeks ago. Not everyone is as well prepared as we are though—a fellow camper slept with a towel as a blanket and a hackey sack as a pillow last night. But at Bonnaroo, to each their own.

A few more deets: It’s so dusty here people are wearing bandanas over their faces. It’s like living in a real life Hipstamatic print. Also, the light in the giant balloon marking our camp (Roger Murdock) isn’t working, go figure. On a sad note, a woman was found dead today outside her tent. Dehydration, heat and drugs are all being considered as probable causes. If you’re here, be sure to drink water, and then drink some more. More to come about Arcade Fire‘s headlining set and Lil Wayne late night. Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter—we’ll be tweeting all weekend long!