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Discourse & Dischord

The Good

Lourdes Leon launches Material Girl blog

Madonna and Lourdes Leon

Lourdes Leon and her somewhat famous mother are launching a fashion line together. It’s called Material Girl, naturally. Leon introduced the line with a blog entry that is as adorable as one might expect from an excited 13-year-old. “I am totally obsessivo [sic] about ‘80s shorts … you know the kind that makes your butt look kinda big,” she says. Look out Women’s Wear Dailywe’ve got a fashion writer on our hands. Leon goes on to extol the greatness of My Chemical Romance (“They are so awesome it hurts”) and reveal that come October and her 14th birthday, she’ll finally get to dye her hair (“THANK YOU MOTHER!!”) The blog entry is richly rewarding – take a look at it here.

The Bad

Demi Lovato and Joe Jonas subject of badly-timed Teen Vogue cover

Lovato and Jonas

Demi Lovato and Joe Jonas’s cover for this month’s Teen Vogue is a mix of denim and awkward. Lovato and Jonas shot the cover and inside photo spread whilst still dating. Alas, their chaste love ended but two days later. Teen scandal! Read the issue and remember the way they were.

The Ugly

Woman buys MJ’s star-studded glove for $190,000

Marking the year anniversary of the King of Pop’s death, $1 million worth of memorabilia went up for auction, including the iconic Swarovski-studded glove Jackson wore on his 1984 Victory Tour. That item alone was expected to fetch between $20,000 and $30,000, but ultimately sold for $190,000 to Wanda Kelly of Los Angeles. Her hand must have looked fierce waving goodbye to all that dough. Hope it was worth it.

Chris Brown cries through MJ tribute performance

Chris Brown

During his four-minute dance tribute to Michael Jackson for Sunday night’s BET Awards, Chris Brown broke down in tears and was unable to finish performing his set. And it wasn’t because he lost the auction for the glove. So which song reduced the troubled performer to a sobbing wreck and delivered a big dose of schadenfreude to his haters? Was it (A) “The Way You Make Me Feel,” (B) “Billie Jean” or (C) “Man in the Mirror”? We’ll give you a hint it’s C.

Miscellany

Discourse & Dischord

The Good

Weezer go World Cup crazy in new video

The song may sound a tad like Rob Thomas “Lonely No More,” but the video for Weezer’s “Represent” is a rousing homage to the U.S. Men’s soccer team. Consisting of mostly action shots from various matches and intense profiles of Landon Donovan, “Represent” will have you singing louder than a vuvuzela.

Eminem and Jay Z tear the roof off Ed Sullivan Theater

Two kingpins of rap united this week on top of the Ed Sullivan Theater for a concert for 100 lucky fans. Jay-Z, who was slated to perform on the same rooftop a week earlier, but whose show was cancelled due to crowd safety concerns, returned for a surprise rescheduled performance. With him this time was Eminem, who has just performed a surprise show of his own at the Bowery Ballroom. The performance will air tonight on the Late Show with David Letterman.

The Bad

Michael Jackson’s estate earns $1 billion in past year

Michael Jackson

Proving he was indeed worth more dead than alive, it was reported this week that Michael Jackson’s estate earned $1 billion in the year since his death. A sizable chunk of the income came from Sony Music, who inked a $250 million recording deal, giving them exclusive rights to the singer’s music. It’s great news for the Jackson clan, but a sad realization that the only way Jackson could relieve himself of the bankruptcy looming over him in his final years would be through his own death.

The Ugly

Seinfeld wonders what’s the deal with “jerk” Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga

One would think that an unruly woman in a studded bra, swilling beer and flipping the bird, would give be a source of unlimited entertainment. Not so for Mets fans, who were turned off by Lady Gaga’s front-row antics during a game last week. And, when the finger-flipping singer was moved to Jerry Seinfeld’s unoccupied private box to avoid the flash of photographers, the comedian was, shall we say, nonplussed. During a WFAN radio interview Seinfeld let loose, calling Lady Gaga a “jerk” and declaring, “I hate her.” “You give people the finger and you get upgraded?” he continued. “Is that the world we’re living in now?” If so, we’re going to be exercising our middle digit a lot more frequently.

Miscellany

Discourse & Dischord

The Good

OK Go video debut video for “End Love”

One wonders how long the members of OK Go can keep one-upping themselves. First there was the choreographed backyard dance, then the treadmill choreographed dance, then the enormous Rube Goldberg machine and now this. Feast your eyes on the incredible, painstaking, stop-motion glory that is “End Love.” The video was filmed over a weekend (one very long weekend we suspect) in Echo Park. We don’t know what these hipster imps have up their sleeve for the next video, but it will be infinitely more delightful than semi-nude dancers with bowl cuts.

The Bad

Scientists to determine why Ozzy Osbourne is still alive

Ozzy Osbourne

If we cut open the Prince of Darkness, what would we find inside? A thousand headless bats? A couple gallons of whiskey and a kilo of cocaine? Soon we’ll have the answers to all these questions and more. Scientists at Knome, a genome sequencing company in Massachusetts, will begin testing Ozzy Osbourne’s DNA to determine how one person can survive so many years of drug abuse, while others cannot. The process will take three months, but afterwards we may know the secret to the 61-year-old’s extreme tolerance. And then we can bottle it. And then we can all go out and eat some bats.

The Ugly

ShamWow guy endorses Eminem’s “Recovery”

Vince Shlomi, pitchman for such venerated products as ShamWow and Slap Chop, has a new product to hock—Eminem’s forthcoming album Recovery. “You’re gonna be clapping when you hear Eminem rapping,” he tells viewers. Shlomi’s an interesting pick for spokesperson, considering that he was arrested in March 2009 for punching a prostitute, and Eminem’s got a duet with Rihanna on his album about domestic violence called “Love The Way You Lie.” Maybe the rapper needs to Chop the Slap out of his album promotion? Just a suggestion.

Miscellany

Discourse & Dischord

The Good

Christian Bale dances to Gaga

Don’t know about you, but all that oil spill footage had us in a deep, greasy funk this week. So it’s nice to get some levity, especially when it comes from an unexpected source such as the perpetually cranky Christian Bale. Watch this clever mash-up of Bale circa the 1992 Disney musical Newsies dancing to Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance.” Yes, it’s another Gaga video. We promise we’ll stop. Right after we tell you about this one starring babies dancing to “Telephone.” There, done.

The Bad

Chris Brown denied visa to UK

Chris Brown

Days before his UK tour was set to begin, Chris Brown was notified this week that his application for a visa had been rejected due to his February assault conviction stemming from a fight with ex-girlfriend Rihanna. The UK Home Office reserves the right to deny entry to anyone guilty of a criminal offense. Brown indulged in a little pity party in the Twitterverse after hearing the news, writing, “U ever feel like the storm clouds are too thick for any sunshine to get through?” [sic]. We would feel sorry for him if not for, you know, that whole oil spill thing going on. And every other thing happening in the world.

Gorillaz and Pixies pull out of Tel Aviv music festival

First it was Elvis Costello, now Gorillaz and Pixies have canceled their appearances at a Tel Aviv music festival after Israeli forces attacked ships bringing aid to Gaza, resulting in nine deaths. Costello’s wife, chanteuse Diana Krall, is still scheduled to perform this summer.

The Ugly

Lady Gaga debuts “Alejandro” video, ruffles feathers across America

Remember that time we said were done with Lady Gaga videos? Kidding! This one is the latest from the woman herself, and it’s a doozey. The concept is sort of all over the place, but in a nutshell it’s about gay men in fishnets and bowl cuts simulating sex with Gaga. Oh, and she wears a nun’s habit and eats a rosary, too. If you listen closely, you can hear the message boards on Fox News screaming.

Kanye West’s car stolen, totaled

Kanye West

Looks like Kanye West’s black Porsche Panamera was stolen in Honolulu and crashed into a house shortly thereafter. We anticipate an explosion of caps on West’s blog in 3 … 2 … 1 …

Miscellany

Discourse & Dischord

The Good

“Money Can’t Buy You Class” video debut

If you’ve ever watched The Real Housewives of New York then you’re probably familiar with the husky-voiced Countess de Lesseps — a pillar of grace and politeness (on Opposite Day). Always the first to condemn the bad behavior of others while glossing over her own breaches of etiquette, the Countess has taken her manners empire from publishing (See her book Class with the Countess) into the musical realm. This week she released the video for her dance single, “Money Can’t Buy You Class.” Like class, the video is priceless. Try not to giggle as the heavily auto-tuned Countess intones “Elegance is luh-hurned” while awkwardly schooling a bevy of hot gentlemen. Enjoy, mah friends.

Alicia Keys engaged, expecting

Keys and Beatz

Alicia Keys and producer Swizz Beatz are expecting their first child together according to multiple reports this week. What’s more, the two are engaged to be married within the year. What’s even more, Swizz was reportedly still married to someone else when the two started dating! What’s the most, this story makes me tired.

The Bad

Hayley Williams Twitter account hacked – nakedness ensues

Hayley Williams

According to Hayley Williams, singer and flame-haired waif of pop-punk band Paramore, her Twitter account was hacked last week. Twitter quote: “Well … my night just changed drastically. Got hacked.” This explains the topless photo of Williams posted through her account. But it doesn’t explain how the hacker got said photo. It’s a mystery, folks. Someone call Columbo.

Lady Gaga tests borderline positive for Lupus

Last week we told you guys that Lady Gaga may or may not have Lupus. This week the singer revealed to Larry King that she tested borderline positive for the genetic illness. But before you start crying, Alejandro, know that Lady Gaga is fine, and is taking care of her health. Seriously. It’s gonna be OK. Just dance. Spin that record, babe. Whatever it takes.

The Ugly

M.I.A. a little ticked about NYT article

M.I.A.

Uh-oh! Somebody ruffled M.I.A.’s fluorescent feathers! After a New York Times article ran last week depicting M.I.A. as, ahem, a tad privileged, the singer practically choked on her truffle fries and took to her Twitter page to avenge herself by publishing the reporter’s cell phone number and writing a song about what a big liar she is. Our lady doth protest too much? Read the article and judge for yourself.

Miscellany

Kelly Clarkson and Chris Daughtry duet on “Fast Car”
Meet Cody Simpson, Bieber from Oz
Lil Wayne released four videos on Memorial Day weekend while you ate potato salad
B.o.B covers MGMT “Kids”
OMG HANSON!
Big Boi falls to pieces in “Shutterbug” video
Dirty Projectors announce fall tour
Arcade Fire to tour with Spoon

Discourse & Dischord

The Good

Ellen starts music label, signs Greyson Chance

Greyson Chance on Ellen

OK, remember last week when we made up that big lie about wunderkind Greyson Chance being signed to Interscope? Kidding! Yeah, looks like that was just one of those Internet rumors. Sahhrrry. Chance was actually signed by Ellen DeGeneres — he’ll be the first artist on her brand new label, Eleven Eleven Records. We’re not sure if Eleven Eleven is actually an imprint of Interscope or an indie, and until we’re sure, we’re not saying a word.

Ludacris builds playground for Atlanta school kids

Ludacris

That Luda, bless his heart. When he’s not going door-to-door reminding people to fill out their Census forms, he’s providing for the children. This past weekend the rapper joined volunteers to help construct a playground for Venetian Hills Elementary School in Atlanta. The charity event was a collaboration between KaBoom — a national nonprofit that provides play areas to underserved areas —The Ludacris Foundation, United Healthcare’s “Do Good. Live Well” campaign and EIF’s iParticipate program. Look, we knew how low he could go, we just never knew he was such do-gooder to boot . Hats off to you, Mr. Bridges.

The Bad

Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato break up

Sniff. Sad. Moving on …

Lady Gaga tested for Lupus

Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga revealed to the London Times this week that she underwent testing for Lupus after collapsing from exhaustion and cancelling shows in March. But when it comes to the results of those tests, she’s keeping her lips sealed. “I don’t want anyone to be worried,” she explains. The singer lost an aunt to the disease, which is genetic and causes the body’s immune system to attack itself. Lucky for all of us little monsters, Lady Gaga is superhuman and immortal. That’s our story and we’re sticking to it.

The Ugly

Liza Minnelli sings “Single Ladies” for SATC2

Liza Minnelli

Looks like Liza Minnelli will be croaking out Beyoncé’s hit in the new Sex and the City movie. According to SATC2 promos, the 64-year-old performer tackles the number during a wedding scene. And, since Minnelli has a brand new replacement knee, maybe she’ll even attempt to do the choreography, too. That would be infinitely better than watching the chicken dance.

Key of Awesome spoof Owl City in “Electronic Wuss”

Ugly for Owl City, but hilarious for the rest of us.  Musical parody group, Key of Awesome,  delivered a sonic smackdown to the maudlin vomit that is “Fireflies” with their spoof, “Electronic Wuss.” Enjoy.

Miscellany

Discourse & Dischord

The Good

Greyson Chance signs to Interscope

Bieber, beware! There’s a new kid on the block, a tween heartthrob by the name of Greyson Chance whose got the same shaggy mop and babyface as you, but with even more youth. That’s right, gramps. Chance, a 12 year-old musical prodigy became an Internet sensation thanks to a YouTube clip of him performing Lady Gaga’s “Paparazzi” on piano to a rapt audience of 6th grade girls. Looks like Gaga’s own label, Interscope, nabbed Chance. Whether they planted him on YouTube to drum up interest or stumbled upon him like everyone else remains to be seen. One thing’s for certain, kid’s got talent. Watch him killing it below.

Joy Division honored with children’s symphony

To commemorate the 30-year anniversary of Ian Curtis’ death, schoolchildren from the singer’s hometown of Macclesfield, England will perform songs from the Joy Division canon with help from the Northern Chamber Orchestra. The concert is slated to take place from July 29th – Aug 7th.

The Bad

Ronnie James Dio dies

Dio

If you’re a child of the ‘80s or a vintage metal afficionado, Ronnie James Dio needs no introduction. For those who aren’t familiar with the name, Dio was 5’4” inches of pure metal fury, lending his powerhouse vocals to bands such as Rainbow, Black Sabbath and (of course) Dio. The singer and songwriter succumbed to stomach cancer this week at the age of 67. R.I.P.

Ryan Adams releases sci-fi metal-ish concept album ORION

Ryan Adams

Back in March prolific songwriter/perpetual critic provoker Ryan Adams (or Mr. Mandy Moore) promised us an album of “Most Legit METAL.” Well, it’s happening. Except, it’s not really metal, but more “just really, really fast country with screaming and crap,” says Adams. Today you can pre-order the screaming and crap (entitled Orion) online on Adams’ site. We’ve yet to be disappointed by any of Adam’s musical outpourings. Will Orion be a first? We’ll consult our astrological charts and get back to you.

The Ugly

Black Keys get physical in “Tighten Up” video

What happens when two young boys compete for the attention of a cute girl on the playground? Or when two grown men go after that girl’s equally comely mother? Blood, tears, donuts and a lot of hilarity. Enjoy.

Miscellany

Discourse & Dischord

The Good

Lenny Kravitz headlines benefit concert for oil spill

Lenny Kravitz

Almost three weeks after the explosion of a BP oil rig of the coast of Louisiana, New Orleans’ biggest names will join forces for Gulf Aid, a benefit concert aimed at cleaning up one of the biggest spills in the history of the area. With more than 210,000 gallons of crude oil now polluting the Gulf and threatening aquatic ecosystems, the situation is heartbreaking. Lenny Kravitz will join Mos Def, Ani DiFranco, Allen Toussaint, Dr. John, George Porter Jr., Cyril Neville and more on May 16th in New Orleans at the Mardi Gras World River City to help raise funds to offset the damage of this disaster. Kudos to all for their efforts in fixing this mess.

M.I.A. releases “XXXO,” disses the Biebs

M.I.A.

After attacking Lady Gaga and releasing one of the most violent musical videos in recent history, M.I.A. is back in the press this week, but this time it’s for debuting the first single off her forthcoming album. “XXXO” is another catchy dance floor hit for the British performer/politico and hints at good things to come. But it wouldn’t be enough for Ms. Arulpragasam to simply bestow an edgy pop gem upon us, she’s also gotta serve up a side dish of cheek, this time directed at Justin Bieber. Quoth M.I.A. to the folks at NME: “I find the new Justin Bieber video more violent and more of an assault to my eyes and senses than what I’ve made.” Touche! And, agreed.

The Bad

Babies dance to “Single Ladies,” grown men sing to “Bad Romance”

What’s more disturbing — a troupe of tiny girls popping, locking, twirling, strutting and grinding to “Single Ladies” for the World of Dance competition, or a gang of grungy grown men gathered on the street to sing an a cappella version of Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance.” Wait, don’t answer yet—watch the videos below and get back to us.

The Ugly

Ke$ha’s meow mix revealed

Ke$ha is sooo lucky. It’s just not fair for one human to hog all that musical talent. We’re kidding of course. Oh, you weren’t? Well then you might want to take a look at the video below. Turns out Ke$ha’s been squeezing cats in the studio to get that feline-in-heat effect on all her songs.

Miscellany

Discourse & Dischord

The Good

New Beyoncé video for “Why Don’t You Love Me”

That Beyoncé. Always looking so hot, dancing so nubile, making the rest of us feel like big, warty ogres lumbering around, bumping into things. Well, she’s done it again with her video for “Why Don’t You Love Me.” This time Sasha Fierce serves it up ‘50s style as in pin-up model meets sexpot housewife. Shot by Melina Matsoukas (who directed Rihanna’s “Rude Boy” video) as grainy, vintage Super 8 footage, “Why Don’t You Love Me” begs the answer, “Because we’re seething with jealousy, Beyoncé. That’s why.” Check it out below.

The Bad

Roger Waters’ street team wheat-pastes over Elliott Smith memorial

"Figure 8" cover

The iconic swirl mural featured on the cover of Elliott Smith’s “Figure 8” got an unwelcome facial from Roger Waters’ street team this week. The former Pink Floyd front man hired street artists to wheat-paste or project images and an anti-war quote by Dwight D. Eisenhower around NYC and LA to promote his upcoming The Wall tour. The mural, located on Sunset Strip, has served as a memorial to Smith since his death in 2003 so fans were none too pleased to see it wheat-pasted. Rogers released the following statement in response to all the hoopla:

“It was absolutely an accident. I didn’t want to disrespect Elliott Smith’s fans, and I’ve instructed [the team] to remove the wheat-paste immediately. It was a random pasting in the normal course of this, and I want to make it public that we had no intent to offend or cover up something precious.”

We would be much more indignant about this whole thing if we had any idea what wheat- pasting was.

The Ugly

MTV releases “Jersey Shore” soundtrack

"Jersey Shore" cast

Looking for the perfect song to beat the beat up? Want to start a bar brawl to a sick techno mix? Need something to listen to on your iPod while you take care of GTL? Juiceheads and guidettes, MTV has heard your cries, and will soon deliver a “Jersey Shore”-inspired soundtrack. Pauly D and Snooki-wannabes  rejoice!

Miscellany

Discourse & Dischord

The Good

T.I. is officially back

T.I. was released from prison back in December after serving 7 months for felony drug charges, but in the months since has kept a relatively low profile … until now. This week the Atlanta rapper unveiled his video for “I’m Back,” the lead single off the forthcoming King Unchanged LP. The video shows T.I. rapping in front of the American flag, cruising through his hometown in a black Ferrari, hitting the studio to lay down some vocals—oh yeah, and setting a warehouse on fire. Still, it’s pretty stripped down footage for the king. Did lawyer’s fees cut into the production budget or is T.I. just getting back to his roots? You be the judge.

The Bad

Bret Michaels hospitalized for brain hemorrhage

Bret Michaels

Bret Michaels, former Poison front man, Celebrity Apprentice competitor and stripper connoisseur, was rushed to the hospital last week after experiencing an “excruciating” headache. Doctors discovered a brain hemorrhage and in the ensuing days have sought to stem the bleeding and locate the source of the hemorrhage. As of Wednesday, Michaels was conscious and talking. Let’s hope he continues on the road to recovery and is back on the Rock of Love bus in no time.

The Ugly

M.I.A. releases NSFW video for “Born Free”

Put it this way, M.I.A.’s video for “Born Free” makes the ultra-violence of A Clockwork Orange look like an episode of Hannah Montana. Directed by Romain Gavras, the video is heavy on the carnage, politically charged and incredibly NSFW. If you’re sensitive to violence, you may want to hang out here. Otherwise, check out the video below, preferably not within sight of your boss.

Miscellany

 


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