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Discourse & Dischord

The Good

Stop. GRAMMY time.

Shall we begin with Lady Gaga’s entrance by egg? Or perhaps make mention of her shoulder zits? Then there’s Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony’s uncomfortably terse stage banter. And let’s not forget Arcade Fire’s amazing upset for “Album of the Year.” So much to discuss! Maybe we’ll just let the folks at “Best Week Ever” handle all the GRAMMY highlights.

James Earl Jones recites Justin Bieber lyrics

Not to be outdone by Gordon Pinsent, actor James Earl Jones dug deep to bring some emotional resonance to Bieber’s “Baby” on “The Gayle King Show.” How will fans react to this treatment of the Bieber canon? If it’s anything like their outrage over Biebs losing the “Best New Artist” GRAMMY to Esperanza Spalding,  JEJ better guard his Wikipedia page.

The Bad

Beyoncé and Jay-Z headed towards the big D?

Could there be trouble in HOVA-ville? A new report claims that Jay-Z and Beyonce Knowles have agreed to a trial separation due to marital discord. The point of contention: Beyoncé’s uterus. JayZ wants to put a little jigga in there, Beyoncé is less than crazy in love with that idea.

The Ugly

David LaChapelle sues Rihanna

Being banned in eleven countries was an inauspicious start for Rihanna’s “S&M” video. Now the singer is being sued by celebrity photographer David LaChapelle, who claims the video copied eight of his images. Is Rihanna perfectly good at being bad after all? Looks like a judge will decide.

Miscellany

Discourse & Dischord

The Good

New Strokes single available for download

Five years is a long break between albums. When you finally get back in the studio, sometimes the old roles just don’t feel right. Such is the case for The Strokes, whose recording process for their upcoming album, Angles, was a departure from previous efforts. All five members co-wrote the songs, with all but singer Julian Casablancas tracking them together in the studio. (Casablancas recorded his parts separately.) Now the band is offering fans a free download of their first single, “Under Cover of Darkness.” Take a listen and decide if the new way is working for them.

Justin Bieber ages ungracefully in new Best Buy commercial

If you saw the new Best Buy commercial during the Super Bowl, you may have wondered who the creepy guy was at the end. No, not Ozzy, the other one. If that’s what Justin Bieber is going to look like once he hits puberty, somebody stop him now.

The Bad

Lady Gaga barred from old digs for 60 Minutes interview

When Lady Gaga and Anderson Cooper tried to pay a visit to her old apartment in NYC while taping a piece for 60 Minutes, they were treated less than neighborly. The new tenant denied them entry due to the camera crew … which leads us to believe there were dirty dishes in the sink, old underwear on the floor, and Jerseylicious on the TV.

Prince kicks Kim Kardashian to the curb

Prince’s first mistake was pulling Kim Kardashian out of the crowd to dance with him on stage during his concert at Madison Square Garden. Then he redeemed himself by booting her off the stage when she wouldn’t dance. Then he made the same mistake again by pulling her back up on stage two hours later. This time, she danced. Smart girl.

The Ugly

Keith Richards says Mick Jagger can’t give no satisfaction

In his new autobiography, Life, Keith Richards gives a million sound bytes, but the one that’s making all the headlines has to do with the size of his bandmate’s package. Richards claims Mick Jagger is hung like an ant and his ex-girlfriend, Marianne Faithful, “had no fun with his tiny todger.” Already ex-wife Jerry Hall and groupie Pamela des Barres have leapt to Jagger’s defense, calling the 67- year-old “very well-endowed.” Think about that next time you’re trying to eat.

Christina Aguilera flubs national anthem, issues national apology

Turns out “What so proudly we watched at the twilight’s last reaming,” is not a lyric in “The Star Spangled Banner.” Christina Aguilera thought it was momentarily whilst performing the national anthem at the Super Bowl. Whoops! Aguilera immediately issued an apology, to the nation for flubbing the words, and to the twilight, for saying it got reamed.

Miscellany

Discourse & Dischord

The Good

Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein beat up Sarah McLachlan

We already told you to check out “Portlandia,” but this time we really mean it. IFC has released a teaser for next week’s episode, and it’s a chortlefest. Watch Carrie and Fred ravage a Sarah McLachlan piñata while their maid, singer-songwriter Aimee Mann, tries to intervene.

Nicki Minaj creeps on to SNL

Nicki Minaj is both sexy and macabre, and nowhere do those two sides come together more seamlessly than in SNL’s new digital short starring The Lonely Island. Watch her “do the creep” on a corpse, and try not to wish you were the corpse.

The Bad

BIEBER’S VOICE IS CHANGING!!!

Now don’t panic, he’s still the same Bieber, only a little deeper. In an interview with Matt Lauer on the Today show, the teen pop star admitted his voice was changing. “It’s definitely lower,” he says, “but I have a great vocal coach who’s helping me.” A better Bieber is just on the other side of the puberty rainbow, kids. So don’t stop beliebing.

White Stripes officially break up

After a prolonged hiatus, the White Stripes announced that they will no longer record or perform as a band in a message posted on their Web site. Please know that it’s not because of anything you did. As the message explains, “The reason is not due to artistic differences or lack of wanting to continue, nor any health issues as both Meg and Jack are feeling fine and in good health. It is for a myriad of reasons, but mostly to preserve what is beautiful and special about the band and have it stay that way.” Third Man Records will continue to issue recordings from the vault. And Meg and Jack want you to know that they both love you very, very much.

The Ugly

Robbie breaks into Moby’s place

Robbie, in case you didn’t know, is the name of the stranger who broke into Moby’s house in the Griffith Park area of Los Angeles. The musician awoke at 7 AM to find Robbie standing in his living room, lost and tripping on acid. That Robbie! Always up to something! To read Moby’s account of the whole experience, go here.

Miscellany

 


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