• If you’re going to do a biography, it should obviously be in comic book form.
• How many times can you possibly tease a 4 minute song?
• We’re going to have nightmares about Nick Jonas as a video game character.
• They obviously traded hair secrets.
• Well that was fast.
• “Noel Gallagher threatens to pull out Gary Neville’s moustache with his teeth.” Naturally.
• Say it with us now… WOOOHOOOOO.
• She left out the part where they paid her a boatload of money.
• Maybe Tyler, The Creator made good on his threat to stab Bruno Mars.
• We got a Situation here.

• What exactly is a “spiritual memoir,” Billy Corgan?
• Will they or won’t they??
• Whitney Houston’s trying to jump back on that wagon.
• Love is a mix tape.
• Google does what it wants.
• Justin Bieber has officially thrown down the gauntlet. Well, as official as a tweet can get.
• Lady Gaga and her rapid-fire releases.
• Adele is our hero.
• Greetings, Upper East Siders, you’re fired. XOXO, the CW.

• Sit back and relax with a can of crazy, Paula Abdul is rejoining a judging panel.
• If Fantastic Mr. Fox gave Sufjan Stevens a mental breakdown, imagine what it did to the kids.
• Is Michael Bolton wearing makeup?
• R.I.P. Walker Brothers’ John Walker.
• Justin Bieber to clean up a stampede mess with a public service announcement.
• Well it’s about that time. Someone must die on Glee.
• LiveNation + Groupon = GrouponLive.
• Babies love Def Leppard.
• Taylor Swift says bullies are “Mean”. In other news, she’s also trying to be Mumford & Sons.
• We looked at this headline too fast and thought it read, “Jay-Z Being Sued By Egyptian Cotton.”
• Mother knows best, Chris Brown.
• Marg Helgenberger’s Wikipedia page better watch its back.

• Taylor Swift really likes calling out her crushes in songs.
• Headline of the day: Justin Bieber Egg Thrower Arrested.
• The guys of The Lonely Island are damn funny.
• Russian oil tycoon buys Warner for 3.3 billion.
• Who doesn’t love a good celebrity sex tape?
• The Drums know more is better.
• Twitter has officially taken over the world.
• We thought it was funny, Blake.
• Just another rock and roll baby-daddy.

The Good

Gwen Stefani performs onstage with Prince

Prince is known to drag celebrities up onstage during his concerts for sometimes awkward interactions (See: Kim Kardashian). But for his show in LA at the Forum, he went straight for the pros, inviting Gwen Stefani up to sing “So Far, So Pleased.” Then, to add even more “aww” to the evening, Stefani’s husband, Gavin Rossdale, jumped up on stage to join in the dance party. Check out the Bush frontman’s sweet shimmy below.

Trinity Orchestra plays Daft Punk’s “Discovery”

Trinity Orchestra, the only student-run orchestra in Ireland, played Daft Punk’s “Discovery” for a concert way back in February, but it took them a couple months to get it up on YouTube. The footage is worth the wait. This is their encore—a Daft Punk medley that will have you shouting, “One more time!” by the end.

The Bad

Stars tweet about death of Bin Laden

Funny things happen when stars become pundits. Twitter exploded with celebrity commentary after the news of Osama Bin Laden’s death on Sunday. The emotions ranged from jubilant to cynical to kind of stupid. Katy Perry borrowed from “Team America,” tweeting, “AMERICA F–K YEAH, HERE TO SAVE THE MOTHER F–IN DAY YEAH!” The Flaming Lips’ Wayne Coyne echoed the sentiment with “Ding dong the witch is dead.” Chuck D was less than impressed, saying, “One f—in dude in a cave, gimme a break please would some UFO come down and straighten this human race out, even if you gotta devour us.” Lily Allen was peeved that the news overshadowed her birthday, while Timbaland added his eloquent musings: [sic] “Dang they killed him 4real.” Proving just how skewed the universe has become, Snoop Dogg displayed the most common sense of all, tweeting, [sic] “Let the troops bac home n lower gas prices let’s live happily ever after!” Doggfather for president.

Mariah Carey gives birth to ridiculous baby names … and twins

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon welcomed their twins this week, and promptly gave them some silly names, in keeping with the long-honored tradition of celebrities. They chose to name their son, Moroccan, after the décor of a room in their house. Their daughter is named Monroe, after President James Monroe. Kidding. She’s named after Marilyn, duh.

The Ugly

Justin Bieber gets egged in Sydney

Some brave souls decided to egg Justin Bieber during his concert in Sydney this week. None of their arsenal actually hit the singer, but that likely won’t save them from the wrath of Bieb’s fanbase, known to fly off the handle for the smallest infraction involving their golden god. Watch your back, guys.

My Chemical Romance “propaganda” angers Glenn Beck

Saying that Glenn Beck did not like it when Glee featured My Chemical Romance’s “Sing” would be an understatement. The conservative talk show host called the lyrics “propaganda” and warned his viewers that, “Our whole culture … is set up for you and the values you grew up on to lose.” Singer Gerard Way just wishes Beck would get the lyrics to the song right before reciting them on air. You can read his humorous response here.

Miscellany

• Beyoncé’s “Girls Who Run The World” makes a disappointing debut
• Britney Spears gives another lackluster interview
• Rick Springfield arrested on suspicion of drunk driving in Malibu
• Robert Plant digs into Led Zeppelin canon at New Orleans Jazz Fest
• Katy Perry goes geek for the cover of “Last Friday Night (TGIF)” remix
• Panic at the Disco flip out in “Ready to Go” video
• Miley Cyrus smells like teen spirit in Ecuador
• New David Guetta album to feature will.i.am, Taio Cruz, Nicki Minaj
• Katy Perry covers Rebecca Black in concert
• Eddie Vedder debuts first video for upcoming album Ukulele Songs
• Morrissey only man not taken with Kate Middleton
• Jenny Conlee from Decemberists diagnosed with breast cancer
• Phil Spector’s murder conviction upheld in appeals court

• We thought we heard a few million 13-year-olds shrieking this morning…
• New Gaga video! Jury’s still out on whether it’s more or less weird than “Born This Way.”
• Beyoncé! Where were you when we were in middle school?!
• Serious question: Is Jesse James the biggest asshole ever?
• Who’s coming to Australia with us?
• All you need to know about this band is that their name is “Cheeseburger.”

• Being punched in the face can’t hurt nearly as much when Deadmau5 is wearing that giant mouse head.
• Don’t worry, Ricky Martin, you’re still a sex symbol.
• Will Fleet Foxes dethrone Adele?
• And will Spotify dethrone iTunes?
• Friendly Fires embraces their inner pop-ness.
• The Situation just won’t go away.
• So far, The Voice is behaving itself.
• We love when Lady Gaga releases a new song, because the comments provide hours of entertainment.

• Does Ryan Seacrest sleep?!
• Rock on, gold dust woman. Stevie Nicks gets rave reviews.
• Dr. Dre and Eminem get together again. Hey, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
• Only in the MTV Movie Awards would Natalie Portman and Steve-O be up against each other.
• Step aside, Haley, Steven Tyler is the true new American Idol.
• The Go-Gos are go-going back into the studio.
• Party’s over for Rick Springfield.
• RX Bandits to say goodbye, but not before some serious summer touring.
• Beck teams up with The Lonely Island to make sure you know all the girls want him.
• Show your iTunes playlists who’s boss.
• Lady Gaga loves Twitter.

• Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon renew their vows (again) after twins are born. Looks like they’re into repetition.
• What’s next, Flaming Lips, pot flavored jelly beans?
• Sure, Steven Tyler is crazy as a bed bug, all the more reason we’re going to read his book.
• Bono gets down on his hands and knees for the Pixies.
• Katy Perry smells like…
• Catch Metallica, Slayer, Megadeth, and Anthrax together in the Bronx.
• Now this is some royal wedding coverage we can enjoy.
• Is it just us or should the President be concerned with things other than comedic roastings?

The Good

EMI’s charity auction for Japan raises $940,000

A jacket worn by Chris Martin on Coldplay’s Viva La Vida Tour, a 1987 Ferrari owned by Daft Punk and a cupcake trampoline from Katy Perry’s current California Dreams Tour were just a few items that raised a chunk of change for EMI’s charity auction for Japan. Held on eBay, the auction raised $470,000, which was matched by EMI to the tune of $940,000. Biggest seller? An original Birkin bag used by Jane Birkin, which fetched a whopping $163,000. Possibly the most irrelevant item up for bid? A day on tour with Simple Minds—which would be great, you know, if it were 1985.

Dude Photoshops Justin Bieber on other dude’s photos

Oh that David Thorne. Always up to something. When his colleague, Simon Dempsey, went to lunch, David snuck into his file of stock images and Photoshopped Justin Bieber’s face onto the lot of them. Heated emails, name calling and a formal complaint ensued. We hope HR called David into the office and gave him a promotion simply for creating Bieber Beans.

The Bad

50 Cent debuts new comedy site

50 Cent launched a new comedy site, ThisIs50Comedy.com, hosted by G-Unit comedian Young Jack Thriller. So, it’s definitely a site, but we’re not sure about the “comedy” part. The first video is a tour of Thriller’s house, where he points out all the places where he, uh, “has relations” and then shows us where he poops. (Spoiler alert—it was a toilet.) We love NSFW as much as the next guy, but Thriller is crass without being original. Next.

Poly Styrene from X-Ray Spex dies from breast cancer

Influential punk icon Poly Styrene, real name Marianne Joan Elliott-Said, succumbed to breast cancer this week. The singer rose to fame in the band X-Ray Spex before embarking on a solo career. She was 53. R.I.P.

The Ugly

Will.i.am says condoms are a turn off

You know what turns Will.i.am off? Finding condoms in a woman’s house. Or not finding baby wipes. So said the Black Eyed Peas front man to Elle Magazine.

You know what turns us off? Most of his lyrics, especially these.

Lil B receives death threats after announcing album title

Bay area rapper Lil B is getting it from both sides after announcing he’ll name his next album “I’m Gay.” GLAAD is a little ticked because Lil B is not, in fact, gay. Then there are wild homophobes who are ticked at the thought that he might indeed be gay. Lil B told MTV News that he’s received death threats after making his announcement, despite the fact he meant gay as in “happy.” People, the dude has a song called “I’m Miley Cyrus.” Isn’t that a more culturally divisive claim?

Miscellany

• Killer Mike and Big Boi reconcile
• Beyoncé’s “Move Your Body” video debuts
• 50 Cent and David Guetta release “Bullshit & Party”
• The Voice makes big debut
• Beyoncé sued for $1 million by video game company
• Fact: there’s an official Justin Bieber singing toothbrush
• Eminem, Coldplay, Foo Fighters, Muse co-headline Lollapalooza
• Dr Dre teaming up with Chrysler for a Beats By Dre sound system
• Kid Cudi changes record label, band name
• Nicki Minaj and Ke$ha remix “Till The World Ends”
• The Lonely Island recruit big names for new album
• Rolling Stone’s “Do You Wanna Be A Rock Star” contest down to final four
• Muse’s Matt Bellamy and Kate Hudson officially engaged
• Kings of Leon and Band of Horses to embark on world’s most hirsute tour
• Songwriter Phoebe Snow passes away