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Author: "Reggie"

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Wednesday, December 14th, 2011

The Black Keys Noel Gallagher
Bon Iver KISS
  • We’ll just agree to disagree, Black Keys, but only because your new album is so deliciously good.
  • Noel’s definitely not-so-secretly seething that Foo Fighters isn’t opening for him.
  • You’d think that Gene Simmons would have been happy to have gotten this much attention.
  • Oops, guess we forgot to wear our cardigans and thick-rimmed glasses for Bon Iver day.
  • It kind of looks like The Love Boat, except with less fornication.
  • We’re betting that Matisyahu’s next facial hair project is an epic biker handlebar.
  • Alan Braxe: “I just spilled some Kool Aid. I don’t know why everyone’s making a big deal out of this.”
  • Why do we get the feeling that “truth” is a modern version of Grease?

Tuesday, December 13th, 2011

Billy Corgan Rihanna
Lady Gaga Coldplay
  • First, pro wrestling. Now, Broadway? You are quite worldly for a man with a duckface, Billy Corgan.
  • All hail the Queen of Facebookia.
  • Coldplay fans, you might want to check for some hidden functions. You know, for the ladies.
  • Who wouldn’t want a nude drawing by an 85 year old man? Best Christmas present ever.
  • Judging by the trailer, we’re guessing they mean the term “pop” in the loosest manner possible.
  • Russell Simmons sticking it to Lowe’s by not taking their money.
  • Need to make an artist weep heavily while recording? Can’t go wrong with making them sing a little Bob Dylan.
  • You’re welcome, Dave. You’re welcome.

Monday, December 12th, 2011

Justin Bieber Queen
Best Coast Coldplay
  • Biebs giving teenage girls everywhere a reason to want to become President of the United States.
  • People expecting a documentary about Queen Elizabeth are going to be so disappointed.
  • Chris Martin is really fitting into his role as the anti-Gallagher.
  • Sorry to all those hoping for more hipster drama.
  • Remember when we’d have to wait what seemed like eons for the next Radiohead release? Those were the days.
  • Wait, so that wasn’t Florence Welch dressed up as Katy Perry hosting SNL? We’re so confused.
  • You’ll forgive us if we don’t hold our breath for X Factor‘s chances for yet another season.
  • It’ll be like American Idiot, but with less obnoxious pop-punk anthems.

Friday, December 9th, 2011

Lana Del Rey Lady Gaga
Karen O Adele
  • Lana Del Rey better watch herself, less she gets a face full of crazy Courtney Love.
  • After getting cut from The Muppets, Lady Gaga’s going with her second choice.
  • Seeing Adele bide her time with newly fixed vocal chords is actually kind of terrifying.
  • Granted she wasn’t even alive at the height of Led Zeppelin’s career, but C’MON.
  • More like a high-pitched girly scream, according to Bono, but hey, who are we to judge?
  • Glad to see Trent Renzor can go back to being a dark, moody, and misjudged artist again.
  • Just announced: we’ve found Jay-Z and Kanye. They’re in this mysterious place called the zone.
  • So, iTunes UK is panning out pretty much exactly the same as the rest of the world then.

Wednesday, December 7th, 2011

Nicki Minaj Lady Gaga
Coldplay Beastie Boys

Tuesday, December 6th, 2011

Adele Miss Piggy
Girls Aloud Steel Panther
  • Now, we’re kind of scared to see what Adele can do post-surgery.
  • Sure, we’re in a recession, but you politicians go argue about Miss Piggy. Totally fine.
  • What have you done, Motley Crue? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
  • If you don’t like it, why don’t you go dubstep, Nicola? Seems to have worked for Korn.
  • And this year’s entire American Country Awards goes to Carrie Underwood’s mama.
  • Finally, Ice Cube will get revenge on Coors Lite for stealing his thunder.
  • Just when your day couldn’t get any weirder, Flaming Lips + Yoko Ono happens.

Monday, December 5th, 2011

Bon Iver Madonna
The Black Keys Franz Ferdinand
  • Indie artists feuding the only way they know how: on Twitter.
  • Confirmed to not be allowed at the Super Bowl: hydrangeas.
  • Spain, we hope you got your hair done, because Franz Ferdinand is taking you out all over again.
  • If only they could have gotten Steve Buscemi to do the “Lonely Boy” shuffle.
  • Oh, so that’s why Charlie Watts is the best looking Rolling Stone.
  • Johnny Marr won’t be driving in your car. At least for the next 56 days.
  • Even T.I himself had the same reaction we did to his collaboration with Taylor Swift: (pleasantly) surprised and confused.
  • We can already see this turning into a really depressing musician biopic.

Friday, December 2nd, 2011

Kanye West Bono
Adele Black Keys
  • Clearly, the only reason Kayne didn’t get nominated is because his works are so awesome that they offset each other.
  • Bono, if you want to stop sounding like a girl, you might want to take off those sunglasses.
  • Can’t really blame him. Carl Barat does have a very punchable face.
  • Nice to get the official odds for the office’s back-alley GRAMMY betting ring.
  • When Will Smith’s daughter decides to step in, you know that it’s been too long since the last Will Smith album.
  • Damon Albarn reveals himself to have been the Wizard of Gorillaz all along. Munchkins everywhere are shocked.
  • Did Sleigh Bells turn into a metalcore band when we weren’t looking?
  • Bieb’s just trying to show that teen heartthrobs gotta stick together. Undersized fist bump.

Thursday, December 1st, 2011

Napster Taylor Swift
Freddie Mercury
  • Not sure about the rest of you, but the end of Napster just makes us feel old.
  • Sorry Taylor, the GRAMMY Nazi says no GRAMMYs for you.
  • BRUCE! We are so pumped for next year’s SXSW now.
  • All the people expecting to see a documentary about the planet Mercury are going to be so disappointed.
  • Apparently, it isn’t a music festival without some Stone Roses.
  • We can totally see Madonna being that annoying neighbor who has loud sex at 3 in the morning.
  • If it doesn’t have hair explosions, it isn’t Gaga enough.
  • Beyoncé, you’re missing out on the best excuse to the absolute delight that is eating ice cream with hot chili sauce.

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

Hanson Elvis
Olly Murs Lady Gaga

 


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